25 Aug

S06E13 – The End

It’s The End! Get your tissues (no doubt you already have some on standby when listening to our voices) and be ready for a tear-jerking walk down memory lane. Look how long it is! Better get comfy, you tarts!

The boys have been expecting to be arrested, failing to fight spiders and having poop problems! Then, in the world of news, we have a graphic Angry Birds clone, a police helicopter used for naughty purposes and a group of drag queens you would not mess with.

Then, we have a go at making our own news stories and we get quizzed on the events of Headlines past. How much do we recall? Were we sober and awake for those episodes?

Hold on to your sides and strap in for a good, long Headlining. And don’t cry too much, because Phil, Bret and Chris will be back!

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29 Jun

S06E07 – A Super Sunshine Day

Hello dear children, welcome to happy fun times at DLYHL! This episode is child-safe and has hardly any swearing or dead people at all. Bret, Chris and Phil are having a super sunshine day in lollipop forest and beyond!

Sit comfortably and listen to story time, as Bret pulls his pole, Phil gets bumped off his bike and Chris crashes part of a car. Don’t worry kids, we’re all fine! But what of news from the outside world? We get educational with a series of headlines about the French, with key words blanked out for your guessing enjoyment. We also have a story about a nuclear power plant offering a somewhat sexist way to get new interns! We hear about a naughty man lying with a lizard or two and we learn about a man who has a police car adventure! Woweee!

Remember not to stay up past bedtime while listening, and be good for Uncle Chris and don’t forget to join in with our #headlies and #limerekd poems.

 

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22 Jun

S06E06 – 99 Problems

This week, it’s a sex soundtrack special! You can put the podcast on while you’re getting down and dutty, and we will make you giggle and offer useful hints and encouragement.

Phil is having yet more cycling mishaps, Chris doesn’t see an orchestra (whut?) and Bret has a proposition for all our listeners! If you’re single and looking to date, today might be your lucky day!

While you’re making the beast with two backs, listen to our fun news stories and games! Police in America struggle to capture a notorious criminal with a surprising nickname, we examine the tale of a couple who had sex in a restaurant (and wouldn’t even pay) and we hear a series of Yahoo questions from people who shouldn’t have keyboards! But which of these are real and which are fake?

Take off your pants, switch on your bullshit detector and don’t forget to join in with our #headlies and #limerekd poems!


Use the links on the left hand menu to send in your feedback, story ideas and general complaints!

Pop into the Show Notes category to see links to the stories that were real.

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27 Aug

S04E00 – Live and Red Raw

Hello Headline fans!

This is a special episode, recorded live at Casa Phil, to keep you from gnawing off your own legs in frustration while waiting for season 4 to start. (not long to go – S04E01 goes live Monday 29th)

So this slightly shorter live special may be a bit rough around the edges but we know you’ll like it! We find out what the most Canadian crime of all time is and we briefly discuss the results of Phil’s forfeit, which you can see on our website!

We also hear about a Norwegian golf course pooper, an absent-minded lady who sends racy photos to the wrong everybody, laser wielding sex pigs and a man with a van (and an urgent desire!).

Enjoy – use the links on the left hand menu to send in your feedback, story ideas and general complaints!

Pop into the Show Notes category to see links to the stories that were real.

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25 Aug

NSF-DLYHL – Exhibit Aaagh!

NSF-DLYHL is where we put all the stories that don’t make it on the podcast. Some are too short, some are too horrific and some are better seen than heard.

This story was supplied by comrade Polnaya and the headline is just a bit awful, yet nevertheless funny:

Police constable shows judge “how grenade works” inside courtroom, three injured

 

courtesy daily pakistan
Grenade, left. Not for use in courtrooms.

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27 Jun

S03E04 – The Fun Facts Episode

Greetage one and all!

This week it’s the Fun Facts episode, featuring both facts and fun from Phil, Chris and Bret!

We have some awful reasons to call 911 (such as a dearth of cheese) and we find out about a Cypriot priest with a pugilistic streak. There’s a robot committing a very slow but malicious machine uprising, a new kind of pavement pounder and a novel new way to remember the departed!

Enjoy – use the links on the left hand menu to send in your feedback, story ideas and general complaints!

Pop into the Show Notes category to see links to the stories that were real.

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25 Jun

NSF-DLYHL – Cat Cop!

Not Suitable For Don’t Lose Your Headline contains all those news stories that we couldn’t (or wouldn’t) include in the main podcast for being too short, too offensive, too full of death or too f**ked up even for us to talk about!

In this case, it’s just a bit short and didn’t seem ‘castworthy, but it is still a fun story (find it here at UPI)(Photo by Benny Marty/Shutterstock.com).

Plus, it was written by a guy called Daniel Uria! Dan, you’re cool and your name is funny.

As fun as this idea is, the concept of a cat police force is terrifying. They love being cruel too much, plus they would be licking their arses while real crime’s going down.

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