29 Jun

NSF-DLYHL – Packin’ Some Serious Meat In Yo’ Pants!

NSF-DLYHL is where we dump all the stories that didn’t quite make it into the podcast. Sometimes it’s because they’re just too gosh-dang offensive, or too short or sometimes, they require visual aids which is tough to do on an audio medium!

In this case, you have to see the video. Typically, if someone said “You’ve got a lot of meat down your trousers, sir! I’d sure like to see it, if I may?” then you’d be thrilled (assuming you’re a guy. If you’re a woman then… eesh!) but in this particular case, it’s maybe not so good.

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27 Jun

S03E04 – The Fun Facts Episode

Greetage one and all!

This week it’s the Fun Facts episode, featuring both facts and fun from Phil, Chris and Bret!

We have some awful reasons to call 911 (such as a dearth of cheese) and we find out about a Cypriot priest with a pugilistic streak. There’s a robot committing a very slow but malicious machine uprising, a new kind of pavement pounder and a novel new way to remember the departed!

Enjoy – use the links on the left hand menu to send in your feedback, story ideas and general complaints!

Pop into the Show Notes category to see links to the stories that were real.

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25 Jun

NSF-DLYHL – Cat Cop!

Not Suitable For Don’t Lose Your Headline contains all those news stories that we couldn’t (or wouldn’t) include in the main podcast for being too short, too offensive, too full of death or too f**ked up even for us to talk about!

In this case, it’s just a bit short and didn’t seem ‘castworthy, but it is still a fun story (find it here at UPI)(Photo by Benny Marty/Shutterstock.com).

Plus, it was written by a guy called Daniel Uria! Dan, you’re cool and your name is funny.

As fun as this idea is, the concept of a cat police force is terrifying. They love being cruel too much, plus they would be licking their arses while real crime’s going down.

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20 Jun

S03E03 – Penis Problems

Episode the third!

Today we have an ebay revenge story with some strong descriptions from an upset fella. Revenge is a dish best served ‘buy it now’?

Also, a child gets vodka poured in it’s face (he’s fine. Drunk and fine.)

Finally there’s a detachable penis (not related to the song) and our head to headline asks the age old question of ‘how much harm can penis paraphernalia do’?

 

 

Enjoy – use the links on the left hand menu to send in your feedback, story ideas and general complaints!

Pop into the Show Notes category to see links to the stories that were real.

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14 Jun

In Memory of The Orlando Nightclub Shooting Victims.

The Orlando shooting is horrible. It is simply, and completely, horrible.

Orlando

The problem with doing Don’t Lose Your Headline is that we’re never quite sure how to approach the truly terrible stories. We come across a lot of very sad stories and we’ve made a decision to not include stories in the podcast if they are particularly disturbing, horribly tragic, or involve anything like murder or the death of innocent people. However, to simply ignore the Orlando Shootings feels wrong. We all want to comment on this and I have no doubt it will be mentioned in the next episode of the podcast.

I think the best way to proceed is simply with love and caring (no matter how trite that may sound). We make a lot of jokes about all sorts of folks, and the LGBT community has certainly been the focus of a joke or two. But we have never, ever done so maliciously or with intent to upset folks. If we joke about you, we love you.

Our heartfelt sympathies go out to the families and friends of those who so senselessly and tragically lost their lives in Orlando. For those who lived through it, I can’t even begin to understand what it must have been like and I can only wish you a healthy recovery, physically and mentally. Live well; it is the best revenge.

Life is to be celebrated, and with that in mind, the Orlando Sentinel is actually doing a lovely, positive thing on their website right now. They’ve listed all of those who were killed in the Orlando Shooting and chosen to focus on their lives, and what made them special in this world. I strongly advise everyone who sees this, no matter how far off in the future it is, to go to that website, start at number one, and read about every single one of the victims. Read about who they were, smile, cry and take them with you as a memory whilst you live out the rest of your life. They deserve at the very least, half an hour of your time.

Life is to be celebrated; Celebrate theirs. They were here. They were important. They were us.

Phil.

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13 Jun

S03E02 – Do It For Mum

Here we go again folks!

Warning, this episode is NSFW and not for the faint-hearted due to some tasteless humour at the start. C’est typique!


This episode: a pugilistic priest with an anger problem, the dangers and benefits of urinating in the shower, a molester from Leicster, a toilet paper bandit and we do it for mum in Denmark!
Enjoy – use the links on the left hand menu to send in your feedback, story ideas and general complaints!

Pop into the Show Notes category to see links to the stories that were real.

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7 Jun

NSF-DLYHL – One Man’s Quest For Pants, & The Reason You’re Always P!ssed

Not Suitable For Don’t Lose Your Headline contains all those news stories that we couldn’t (or wouldn’t) include in the main podcast for being too short, too offensive, too full of death or too f**ked up even for us to talk about!

This week has been a great week for funny and weird news stories. I’ve got too many, so I’m offloading a few to the NSF-DLYHL.

The first story is the exciting tale of one man’s quest to find his trousers after a night of heavy drinking. Whereas lesser men such as you and I would have simply written the pants off as good and lost, ol’ Andy Gaudry was not so ready to admit defeat. He’s been out drinking so much that he’s probably sh*t out his liver, and he’s awoken to find he’s not wearing his trousers; just his hot pink underpants. (That’s not a joke… hot pink, baby!)

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